Are you in a season of testing? Do things seem out of control? Does it seem like time is standing still and life is tackling you from behind? I ask because that’s where I am today. I haven’t slept straight through a night for a couple of weeks, (and that was when I was on a trip out of town). These nights of getting up and down every hour or so seem to stack up to molding me into a statue of perpetual grogginess. This is not about complaIning. I’m simply stating facts.
I can honestly recognize that the trial I’m living through is not as tough as some people’s. I have much to be grateful for, each and every day. It just seems that when I haven’t had enough sleep, everything in front of me looms out of proportion.
I open my Bible and read–here and there and everywhere–not exactly absorbing it as I hope to. My eyes blur along with my mind, but I find comfort in the scriptures, no matter what they’re about on any given day.This is definitely not my normal mode of operation. But with the assignment I’ve been given at the moment, I’m pretty sure it’s the best I can do.
I know a number of people caring for terminally ill spouses or other loved ones. I now have a whole new perspective and compassion for them. I have no doubt that my Father wants me to understand the needs of those who grieve and must carry on each day as though life was normal, when it is far from it.
One thing He is teaching me is how to find joy in little, seemingly insignificant things. How to give Him praise and thanksgiving for small joys like a frisky puppy making our family laugh together, finally. He’s showing me the benefits of leaning on Him when I’m expected to do something that is so hard for me. Caregiving shows us how to love in ways we’ve never known. It’s difficult and at the same time it’s character building and shows us our own flaws. I’m learning new things about myself each day; some good things, and some not. God knows those areas in me that need refining. He’s a good Abba Who loves me enough to show me how to be a better me. I’m grateful to be growing through this trial.
This morning He led me to this passage. It brought me great comfort. Glory be to God, for all He is and all He does!
16 But as for me, I will sing about your power.
Each morning I will sing with joy about your unfailing love.
For you have been my refuge, a place of safety when I am in distress.
17 O my Strength, to you I sing praises,
for you, O God, are my refuge, the God who shows me unfailing love.